how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

Colby is gay.... thats it

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

Melbourne Football Club.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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