What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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YOLO.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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thermodynamics?

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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