why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

A man made a sandwich.

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

Zach Barlow

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

A black man in a country bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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