Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops