So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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pickle sniffer

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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ecks! why zee?

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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I tell an anti joke!.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Mark Wilson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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