Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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for keeps?

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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cancer

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops