Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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Snausages.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Mike tyson

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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I can't see my forehead

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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