Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

If life throws you melons... ouch

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

I dont know, are you a tomato?

Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

Give me thumbs up!

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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