A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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your mother hates you

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Ted Haggard.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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