Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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47

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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