eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

BOOBALANBOO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops