IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What comes after 23? 24.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Toaster

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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