How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

Why? Whats wrong?

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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