A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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12

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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