What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Why did he die? He was sick.

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Penis

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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THE GAME

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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