Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops