Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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