How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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YOLO.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Toaster

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops