what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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