Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

how now brown cow. WTF.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

What's funnier than 24? 25

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

Knock, Knock. Come In.

The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

Niki Minaj's ass

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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