Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Their, they're, there You're, your

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops