Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops