Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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E= McVagina

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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