A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

what's shaped like a tree? a tree

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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