That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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poo is yummy

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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penis hehehehe

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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