she wasn't 18

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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