Jews

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Your Mom.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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girls lacrosse

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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