What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Cows go moo.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Fox News.

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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