Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

thumb_up thumb_down -5

all these jokes suck ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

american government

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

thumb_up thumb_down -7

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

since when?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops