How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Guess What! HI!

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Fiats

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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