What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops