Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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I'm banging your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops