What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Spell: “This word”

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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thumbs up!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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knock knock come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops