Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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YOU

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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That's not what she said.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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