The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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Women's rights.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops