there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

Kelly Clarkson

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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