How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

kevin kim

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +32

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I'm so hot my father calls me son.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops