A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Your Mom.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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