How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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