What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops