I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Your Mom.

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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