What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +44

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops