What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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Type 2 diabetics

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops