A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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I have read and agree to the terms of service.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops