A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops