How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

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so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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