What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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shea kisses a girl

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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monkey sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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