Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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AVB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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