What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

Mrs. Welsh

Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

I was born.

the WNBA

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

Lil Wayne

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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