- Anti Joke

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

Nickelback

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

I WILL DESTROY ISIS

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

womens rights

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

The Legend of the Fierce Fireplace In the beginning there was a fireplace, and from that fireplace a fire glowed by the burning embers of the last feathers of a mighty phoenix. And as the last of the feathers burned and the fire exhausted, from the ashes a new phoenix was born. Then just when the newborn began to take its first breath the fire started up engulfing the infamous bird with its huge fiery teeth. The bird screamed out in terror, but no one was around to save it. Just as fast as the fire started, however, it ended with an explosion of blood and feathers, each on fire. When each of the feathers finished burning, a new baby was born. Every newborn looked at each other and without a word knew exactly what had happened. Every one of them vowed to spread the word of the terrible fireplace accident. Years passed and the phoenixes died off from having too little magic to regenerate. The story never died though and reached the ears of an old man. Enraged by the tale, he dedicated the rest of his life to finding a solution. However, this was short lived for he died just a few days later of old age. The story takes a pause here for over a century. Then, suddenly, it was by chance that a young engineer would walk into a library and choose this book. He realized that the fireplaces currently in use were no different than the ones mentioned. He then dedicated his life to finding a solution, and he found one. By using the modern technology of the time, he created a simple, yet safe, gas burning fireplace. This essentially solved the problem. Along came computers. With the introduction of a new medium for engineering several people began designing old things with circuits and chips. This developed into unforeseen consequences. As digital engineering was a new subject, and the people experimenting with it had little to no experience, many of the new designs contained errors that unless otherwise solved created the same problem that it tried to fix, but the people were lazy. They put off trying to repair these new designs and left it to later generations. This is where I come into the picture. After studying Digital Engineering for half a semester, it was deemed I was worthy enough to tackle the famed Fierce Fireplace. Not knowing any better, I accepted the challenge. This is where our journey takes a turn for the worse. I will begin and end by explaining to you the process of designing the perfect, exceptionally-crafted, digitally engineered fireplace. From what was given, the problem became clear. The first step was to create a truth table that contained four inputs and two outputs. The first output is to send a logic one whenever there was at least three inputs with a high signal. The second and most troublesome output will send a logic one whenever the outputs don’t all match. By logical association, the next step was to create a Karnaugh map for each output. From those helpful hat tricks it was easy to create very simple minterms for each output. Thereafter, those minterms were translated into circuit diagrams with the first output being limited to the use of NAND gates, and the second output only uses NOR gates.After hand drawing each circuit, the next step I took towards perfecting this fireplace was to insert both of the new designs into Multisim, but this time, instead of having two different designs, both were inserted into the same file sheet to create a single-circuit, double-output process. From this new setup I was able to recreate the circuit on a breadboard. I realized that this specific design called for four NAND ICs and four NOR ICs. This is to allow for the simplest circuit design in each instance. Using a bread board companion, it was quite easy to design a four-input circuit with two outputs. After the design was complete, the design was tested by both me and my instructor. (See picture and parts list for an added assistance.) Knowing all of this the final thing to do was write a two hundred and fifty word conclusion summary of what it took to create the perfect fireplace. I thought this was to demanding so I skipped it; however, only an ignorant jerk wouldn’t turn in anything to their instructor- it’s funny because I usually do that- just to be lazy. Instead this legend, true or not, should suffice for the reason and process of the design. Amen.

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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