Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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