What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two english guys meet at work

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops